Who needs The One?

Recently I’ve had several conversations with different people about one of those things that crosses the mind of every person at some point in their lives: The One. 

It’s not as sad a case as you may at firs think. Among the people with whom this has come up are content singletons, the happily married, of course lonely loners, and people that fit in all around and between them. So I’ve had a lot of input, from many perspectives.

So what is The One? Well we spend a lot of our lives making connections. Meeting people, making friends, finding enemies, falling in and out of love, these activities are pretty much the core of our existence. The One is that person that inspires in you feelings that I can only describe as how the song Fake Empire makes me feel in it’s last 50 seconds. They make you want to dance, to smile, to throw yourself around and just be happy.

I, along with pretty much everyone I’ve spoken to, believe that The One is not just one person. It’s the right person at the right time. It’s that guy or girl you meet by accident one morning on the train. It’s the girl you’ve been talking to every week for three months but you’ve never been brave enough to ask out. It’s the guy you’ve flirted with freely since the first time he smiled at you. It’s the person you haven’t met yet, that you won’t meet, for years to come. The point is, we change and grow and develop all through our lives, and yesterdays The One is not necessarily the same as tomorrows.

As I get a little older I ponder this occasionally. Life has not turned out the way I thought it would. When I was younger I imagined I’d have my own family by this stage. A house surrounded by trees, children, and a wife (The One of course), and that hasn’t happened. I find myself a greater distance from that imagining now than I was a few years ago. The thing is that I know a few people like me, and I know a few people who’ve done something about it. Something that I consider to be the absolute wrong thing.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, and not having The One. But some people can’t cope with that. Their need to be in a relationship, their desire to fill out the template of life as set down by the ages, to get married and have kids, completely overwrites their common sense and they settle for what they can get. They find a someone, and at some point they tell themselves that this person will do the trick. That this person is lovely, and nice, and kind, and great material for the rest of a life together….

That person might not ever make them feel fuzzy in the stomach, dizzy in the head, and explosive in the heart. They might not draw a smile at the simplest thought of them. Their annoying habits might actually inspire annoyance. But… They’re better than nothing…. Right?

No.

So, a point? Yes, of course. Never settle. Never give up. Never stop fighting. Even if you don’t get what you want, don’t squash your own happiness to meet the expectations of society. Make yourself happy by being happy. Let yourself fall in and out of love, and always believe that there’s the chance that the next one might be the right one.

This has been brought to you by a meandering mind waiting to go out for coffee. Have a great weekend, and I hope you all meet someone that makes you fuzzy!

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